Journeys End In Lovers Meeting...

... .... .... ... I've found almost everything ever written about love to be true. Shakespeare said "Journeys end in lovers meeting." What an extraordinary thought. Personally, I have not experienced anything remotely close to that untill now. Now I am more than willing to believe Shakespeare had. I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives. It was Shakespeare who also said "love is blind". Now that is something I know to be true. For some quite inexplicably, love fades; for others love is simply lost. But then of course love can also be found, even if just for the night. I am one of the lucky ones who happened to be blessed by the fates. I was given someone that I never thought that I would have. I thought I would forever have to look from a far and that would be it. But somehow that fates were kind and made him feel the same. I guess Mr. Billy Shakespeare had it right. -Maggie

Happy and at Peace...

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If you put your conditioned intellect to rest for a long time, suddenly it will be like the bottom fallin out of a bucket -- then you will naturally be happy and at peace.- Yaunwu

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Sorry that I have been posting as I should but I read this today and had to share it.

-Maggie

A Dream Is a Wish Your Heart Makes....

.... .... .... ... A dream is a wish your heart makes, When you're fast asleep, In dreams you will lose your heart ache, and whatever you wish for you keep. ... I dreamed of something wounderful and when I woke the next morning I found that my wish had come ture. I am so happy right now. I keep thinking that is can not be real. Well, if it isn't real and I am only dreaming I hope that I never wake up form this peaceful sleep. ... No matter how your heart is griving, If you keep on believing, The dream that you wish will come true. -Maggie

As I sit here with my glass of wine...

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For the first time in a long time Im happy.

-Maggie

Mother Earth and Father Time...

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He turns the seasons around

and so she changes her gown,

But they always look in their prime.

They go on dancing their dance

Of ever lasting romance.

Mother Earth and Father Time.

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As I sit here looking out my window at the rain I have this poem running agian and again in my mind. I love to see the sesons change. I look forward to it. I can not wait for the ends of summer to leave and for fall and finally the winter to return. I miss the winter so much. I know that most people enjoy the summer but I have always loved the chilled air and the quite that comes with the winter season.

I miss the start of a snow fall in the middle of the night. I sit at the window and watch the peaceful blanket fall on the ground. But I know that when it gets here the thing that I will miss most is having someone to sit with and to hold me while we watch for hours on end.

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I guess we can never have everything in life. I love my job and I am going to be moving into a new little house of my own. I am as happy as I can be with what I have. but...I still will miss that.

-Maggie

A Moment of Zen If You Please...

Do we not cherish the

Infinite brightness

Of the one bright pearl?

Who can surpass

The virtue of this

Brilliant, radiant pearl

That covers the universe?

The essence of causality

Never ceases and

The pearl is always bright.

It is our original face and enlightened eye.

- Dogen (1200-1253)

Something About A Good Movie Quote That Just Makes Your Heart Sing...

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. ........... Sometimes I feel like there's a hole inside of me, an emptiness that at times seems to burn. I think if you lifted my heart to your ear, you could probably hear the ocean. The moon tonight, there's a circle around it. Sign of trouble not far behind. I have this dream of being whole. Of not going to sleep each night, wanting. But still sometimes, when the wind is warm or the crickets sing... I dream of a love that even time will lie down and be still for. I just want someone to love me. I want to be seen. I don't know. Maybe I had my happiness. I don't want to believe it but, there is no man, Gilly. Only that moon. -Sally Owens

I Don't Need A Man To Make Me Feel Good...

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"I don't need a man to make it happen, I get off being free. I don't need a man to make me feel good, I get off doing my thing. I don't need a ring around my finger to make me feel complete so let me break it down I can get off when you ain't around."

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Well there it is. Plan and simple. I don't need a man in my life to make me feel whole. I don't need him to make me feel good about myself. I am a good person. I have friends who care about me. I am even somewhat good looking. I don't need him to make me the person that I am. It was because for his thoughts and worries in life that we broke up. It was not me. He even told me one night after he ended it that I was a good girlfriend. That didn't do anything wrong. He just wanted and needed to be on his own at this point in this life. I agree with that. I am okay with myself as a person right now. I am fine being single. I have so much stuff in my life right now with work and all that I couldnt be in a relationship even if I wanted to.

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I do however still want to be friends. I still want to be able to joke around and ask how his day was...because I still care about him as a person. I want him to be happy. I Don't What him to feel like he can not talk to me just as a friend. Thats all that we should be. I will alway be his friend. I want only the best for everyone.
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Now tell me. Is that wrong for me to want? It that the kind of thing that I should what? Am I childess for wanting that?
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iq1h9h0aQWE

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Maggie

Fancy or a Felling...

Is love a fancy or a feeling?

No, It is immortal as innaculate truth. Is is not a blossom shed as soon as youth drops from the stem of life for it will grow in barren regions where no waters flow nor ray of promise cheats the pensive gloom.

Hmmm... I don't know how I feel about the words of Marianne Dashwood.

I find myself sitting here wondering is love truly a fancy or a feeling?

I Want To Be Forgotten, And I Don't Want To Be Reminded...

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............ You know what I miss the most?

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Most people say its the sex that they miss the most when they break up with someone that they loved. Don't get me wrong sex is right up there on the list of things that I miss. it right near the top!

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But I miss other things. Things like when he would kiss me on the forhead...or I would wake up and my hand would be in his. That may sound silly but its true. Things like having your best friend around to talk to. Just to talk...about how work was...or what you were going to do that night. Its the little things like that.

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Now I don't write this for anyone to feel sorry for me...so if you feel sorry for me, stop right now! There's no need for it. I just write this down so I can kind of see what going on in my head and this point.

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I know that we are not going to have some magical fairy tail ending and live happily ever after. Happily ever after only happens to stories that haven't ended yet. But I want so much to be friends. To be able to call on the phone to see how the day was, or say hey a bunch of people are going to (enter name here) do you want to come.

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Is that a bad thing to want? Could someone please tell me. Cause sometimes I think in my head that that is a silly thing to want and that I'm crazy, but sometime I think...why not?

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Please tell me want you think. -Maggie

For I Walk My Path Alone...

"Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace. "-Buddha

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Buddha give the strangth to do this thing that need to be done. Give me hope that I will see a brighter day tomorrow and let me keep walking down my path in life.

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Once I thought tha my path was a simple one. That I could see what my path had for me. But now it is dark and I must walk in alone.

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I know now that I was meant to travel my path alone. I understand this, For I walk my path alone....

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Sex and Sushi

Well here I am, sit here watching Sex and the City, eating Sushi and drinking my Green Tea Vitamin Water.

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I got off work at two today and I stopped and got some stuff at the market. I came home and and went into clean mood. I now have all clean clothes and my kitchen, livingroom, bedroom, and bathroom are all perfect. I also know that I have no life. I guess it could bre worst.
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I am started to worry that the high light of my day is watching my friends for Sex and the City. And the fact that I just called them my friends. But they do make me happy. I see so much of my really friends in the chacters and we have all had those same talks about men, sex and all jazz. Plus, if Im not getting any at least my tv pals are.

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Is that sad. Maybe...but I don't think that I really care.

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Maggie

LOVE vs. SEX

As I sat having a drink after work with a friend of mine we came up on a very good point in Relationships in this modren world that we live in. And here it is.

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"Why is it that men secretly look at porn while women secretly look at wedding dresses?"

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Now, stop and think about it for a moment. We have all done it. You look it up online when your boyfriend or girlfriend is at work or out for the night. You don't see the harm in it. But at the same time when you hear that car door shut that says "Hi Honey, I'm home!" you rush to get it off the screen. You even clear the google search history...just in case.

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So why do we do it? Why does it matter? Does it make us bad people?

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Really there is nothing wrong with it. In my mind both Porn and Wedding dresses are both very health. Looking at it doesn't hurt anyone. Just because you look at it doesn't mean thats want you want.

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Just because a guy looks at a sexy porn girl doesn't mean that he is unhappy in his relationship. And the same goes for Women and wedding dresses. Just because a woman looks at a pretty wedding dress doesn't mean that she wants to go running off to tie the knot. Its nice sometimes to look. Doesn't mean that thats all you think about and that you can't be happy without it.

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Now I don't mean that women don't look at porn and that men do not look at wedding crap. Please dont think that I am. Maybe I am the only one who has thought about this. If not let me know your feelings on this.
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Maggie

God Is In The Rain

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"I called my momma, she was out for a walk. Consoled a cup of coffee, but it didn't wanna talk. So I picked up a paper, it was more bad news. More hearts being broken or people being used. Put on my coat in the pouring rain. I saw a movie, it just wasn't the same. 'Cause it was happy and I was sad and it made me miss you, oh, so bad."

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I sat today at work and watched the storms move in while I smoked. I just sat there for a long time and watched the changing sky. The colors a different grays in the clouds and the rays of sunlight trying to fight thought and failing. I could have sat there forever.

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...I work everyday. I have not had a day off in almost three weeks. I guess thats good when pay day comes around. I am saving my money so half of ever paycheck that I get goes right into my savings and the other half goes to bills and things. That is pretty much my life. I have no life.

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I wake up, I get ready for work, I go to work, I come home, I go to sleep, Then I do it all again. The only thing that I get any enjoyment out of is when I got to this little Blues Club on Sunday night where my friend Kyle plays. Its a nice little place. Its nice to go and forget about life (work) for a few hours.

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Well, Its not all bad. This cloud can have a golden lining. I have my friends. Sarah and Amanda make my live better. I have money in the bank for the things that I will want later on down the road. Things like a apartment. I am ready for that. I love my brother but I want a place where I can hang my own things on the wall, where I can have my things my way. I have lost weight. Thats always good.

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I am still very lonley at night, but I know thatI have to learn to live with that...and I will...someday.

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"I brush my teeth and put the cap back on. I know you hate it when I leave the light on. I pick a book up and then I turn the sheets down, and then I take a deep breath and a good look around. Put on my pj's and hop into bed. I'm half alive, but I feel mostly dead. I try and tell myself it'll be all right, I just shouldn't think anymore tonight." -Jewel
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Maggie

Its A Warm Summers Night And I'm Cold

"When someone said count your blessings now 'fore they're long gone I guess I just didn't know how. I was all wrong. They knew better. Still you said forever and ever. Who knew?"

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As I sit here in my room at 4:30 in the morning in the dark I am thinking to myself....I just want to be held. I feel so alone and lonely. Its a warm summers night and I'm cold. I want the warmth of someone next to me. To hold me and tell me that I'm not alone. Even if it is only for this night.

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I'm trying...I really am. I have two jobs. I work 45 hours a week. I spend time with my friends when I'm not working. I have a great time when I go out. I do everything that a young (somewhat ok looking) woman should be doing with her life.

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Guys even flirt with me sometimes, but I don't care. Its just like my soul is somewhere else. Most of the time those men are trying to hide the wedding ring they are wearing as they are doing their flirting. But every once in a while there's a guy with no ring but I still don't care.

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Sure, I'll flirt back, and sometimes I'll have fun doing it. But I don't want to get to know them. I don't want to hang out with them. I don't want them to touch me...or hold me. I just don't. I don't know why. I wish that I did, But I don't. I'm sorry.

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I lie in bed at night and wonder why. Why I am the way I am. Why I am alone. Why he's not here. Why I want to be held.

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Now I guess I'll go smoke a cigrette and watch the sunrise...again.

Maggie

This world was never meant for one as beautiful as you...

"Starry, starry night. Paint your palette blue and grey. Look out on a summer’s day with eyes that know the darkness in my soul. Shadows on the hills, sketch the trees and daffodils. Catch the breeze and the winter chills In colours on the snowy linen land"

My dear Vincent, How your works light up my soul. The shadows of your soul follow with every small movement of the brush. Showing the deepest thoughts of your mind. Now I understand how you suffered for your sanity. To show others the world thought your artest's eyes. The beauty in the night sky and in the winds movment. The peace and rage in the clouds. The brightness of the stars. Thank you for your suffering so that we may see the world in your eyes.

For they could not love you,but still your love was true. And when no hope was left inside on that starry, starry night you took your life as lovers often do. But I could have told you vincent, This world was never meant for one as beautiful as you.

Maggie

This, Madame, is Versailles.

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Tell me how the truth can set you free when it is all covered over with a lie.

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Lies that have taken the lives of so many in this world and nothing comes of it.

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How can this set ones soul free?

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"Letting everyone down would be my greatest unhappiness. " Marie-Antoinette

Maggie