I Don't Need A Man To Make Me Feel Good...

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"I don't need a man to make it happen, I get off being free. I don't need a man to make me feel good, I get off doing my thing. I don't need a ring around my finger to make me feel complete so let me break it down I can get off when you ain't around."

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Well there it is. Plan and simple. I don't need a man in my life to make me feel whole. I don't need him to make me feel good about myself. I am a good person. I have friends who care about me. I am even somewhat good looking. I don't need him to make me the person that I am. It was because for his thoughts and worries in life that we broke up. It was not me. He even told me one night after he ended it that I was a good girlfriend. That didn't do anything wrong. He just wanted and needed to be on his own at this point in this life. I agree with that. I am okay with myself as a person right now. I am fine being single. I have so much stuff in my life right now with work and all that I couldnt be in a relationship even if I wanted to.

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I do however still want to be friends. I still want to be able to joke around and ask how his day was...because I still care about him as a person. I want him to be happy. I Don't What him to feel like he can not talk to me just as a friend. Thats all that we should be. I will alway be his friend. I want only the best for everyone.
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Now tell me. Is that wrong for me to want? It that the kind of thing that I should what? Am I childess for wanting that?
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iq1h9h0aQWE

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Maggie

Fancy or a Felling...

Is love a fancy or a feeling?

No, It is immortal as innaculate truth. Is is not a blossom shed as soon as youth drops from the stem of life for it will grow in barren regions where no waters flow nor ray of promise cheats the pensive gloom.

Hmmm... I don't know how I feel about the words of Marianne Dashwood.

I find myself sitting here wondering is love truly a fancy or a feeling?

I Want To Be Forgotten, And I Don't Want To Be Reminded...

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............ You know what I miss the most?

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Most people say its the sex that they miss the most when they break up with someone that they loved. Don't get me wrong sex is right up there on the list of things that I miss. it right near the top!

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But I miss other things. Things like when he would kiss me on the forhead...or I would wake up and my hand would be in his. That may sound silly but its true. Things like having your best friend around to talk to. Just to talk...about how work was...or what you were going to do that night. Its the little things like that.

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Now I don't write this for anyone to feel sorry for me...so if you feel sorry for me, stop right now! There's no need for it. I just write this down so I can kind of see what going on in my head and this point.

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I know that we are not going to have some magical fairy tail ending and live happily ever after. Happily ever after only happens to stories that haven't ended yet. But I want so much to be friends. To be able to call on the phone to see how the day was, or say hey a bunch of people are going to (enter name here) do you want to come.

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Is that a bad thing to want? Could someone please tell me. Cause sometimes I think in my head that that is a silly thing to want and that I'm crazy, but sometime I think...why not?

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Please tell me want you think. -Maggie

For I Walk My Path Alone...

"Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace. "-Buddha

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Buddha give the strangth to do this thing that need to be done. Give me hope that I will see a brighter day tomorrow and let me keep walking down my path in life.

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Once I thought tha my path was a simple one. That I could see what my path had for me. But now it is dark and I must walk in alone.

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I know now that I was meant to travel my path alone. I understand this, For I walk my path alone....

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Sex and Sushi

Well here I am, sit here watching Sex and the City, eating Sushi and drinking my Green Tea Vitamin Water.

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I got off work at two today and I stopped and got some stuff at the market. I came home and and went into clean mood. I now have all clean clothes and my kitchen, livingroom, bedroom, and bathroom are all perfect. I also know that I have no life. I guess it could bre worst.
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I am started to worry that the high light of my day is watching my friends for Sex and the City. And the fact that I just called them my friends. But they do make me happy. I see so much of my really friends in the chacters and we have all had those same talks about men, sex and all jazz. Plus, if Im not getting any at least my tv pals are.

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Is that sad. Maybe...but I don't think that I really care.

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Maggie

LOVE vs. SEX

As I sat having a drink after work with a friend of mine we came up on a very good point in Relationships in this modren world that we live in. And here it is.

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"Why is it that men secretly look at porn while women secretly look at wedding dresses?"

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Now, stop and think about it for a moment. We have all done it. You look it up online when your boyfriend or girlfriend is at work or out for the night. You don't see the harm in it. But at the same time when you hear that car door shut that says "Hi Honey, I'm home!" you rush to get it off the screen. You even clear the google search history...just in case.

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So why do we do it? Why does it matter? Does it make us bad people?

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Really there is nothing wrong with it. In my mind both Porn and Wedding dresses are both very health. Looking at it doesn't hurt anyone. Just because you look at it doesn't mean thats want you want.

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Just because a guy looks at a sexy porn girl doesn't mean that he is unhappy in his relationship. And the same goes for Women and wedding dresses. Just because a woman looks at a pretty wedding dress doesn't mean that she wants to go running off to tie the knot. Its nice sometimes to look. Doesn't mean that thats all you think about and that you can't be happy without it.

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Now I don't mean that women don't look at porn and that men do not look at wedding crap. Please dont think that I am. Maybe I am the only one who has thought about this. If not let me know your feelings on this.
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Maggie

God Is In The Rain

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"I called my momma, she was out for a walk. Consoled a cup of coffee, but it didn't wanna talk. So I picked up a paper, it was more bad news. More hearts being broken or people being used. Put on my coat in the pouring rain. I saw a movie, it just wasn't the same. 'Cause it was happy and I was sad and it made me miss you, oh, so bad."

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I sat today at work and watched the storms move in while I smoked. I just sat there for a long time and watched the changing sky. The colors a different grays in the clouds and the rays of sunlight trying to fight thought and failing. I could have sat there forever.

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...I work everyday. I have not had a day off in almost three weeks. I guess thats good when pay day comes around. I am saving my money so half of ever paycheck that I get goes right into my savings and the other half goes to bills and things. That is pretty much my life. I have no life.

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I wake up, I get ready for work, I go to work, I come home, I go to sleep, Then I do it all again. The only thing that I get any enjoyment out of is when I got to this little Blues Club on Sunday night where my friend Kyle plays. Its a nice little place. Its nice to go and forget about life (work) for a few hours.

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Well, Its not all bad. This cloud can have a golden lining. I have my friends. Sarah and Amanda make my live better. I have money in the bank for the things that I will want later on down the road. Things like a apartment. I am ready for that. I love my brother but I want a place where I can hang my own things on the wall, where I can have my things my way. I have lost weight. Thats always good.

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I am still very lonley at night, but I know thatI have to learn to live with that...and I will...someday.

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"I brush my teeth and put the cap back on. I know you hate it when I leave the light on. I pick a book up and then I turn the sheets down, and then I take a deep breath and a good look around. Put on my pj's and hop into bed. I'm half alive, but I feel mostly dead. I try and tell myself it'll be all right, I just shouldn't think anymore tonight." -Jewel
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Maggie